How To Break Up With Someone Like A Man

Breaking up sucks. Regardless of whether you’re the dumper or the ‘dumpee’, the whole process is one many would rather avoid.

Of course, far worse than biting the bullet is staying in an unhappy relationship, so best learn how to do it properly. Good karma and all that.

BREAK UP FACE TO FACE

Man up. No ghosting, no texting, no getting your best mate to do it (what is this, primary school?).

Breaking up with someone face-to-face shows you respect them. Just think, you only have to do it once (providing you do it right). See it as a test for the strength of your character.

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION

If you feel like the other person might take it badly, go round to their place. Sure, they know where all the sharp objects are, but at least you’re doing the honourable thing of saving them being seen in public with puffy red eyes.

PICK THE RIGHT TIMING

There is never a ‘good time’ to break up with someone. Though you should be mindful of not looking for excuses to delay the inevitable, do be sensitive to anything important going on in their life (job interviews, bereavements etc.) all of which could be affected once you ‘drop the bomb’.

DON’T BE A DICK

That old rule of life applies here, too. Don’t use a breakup as an opportunity to tell the other person everything you don’t like about them; what’s the point, you’ve got shot of them anyway?

Avoid the, “It’s not you, it’s me,” line, too – it’s possibly the biggest cop out, second only to some imaginary illness or a job you’ve fabricated in Australia.

STICK TO YOUR GUNS

Before breaking up with someone, make sure you have thoroughly thought things through. You should (ironically) be fully committed to the decision. Once your mind is made up it can help to try to anticipate what the other person might say to avoid a breakup. Doing this means you aren’t caught off caught and won’t start second-guessing yourself.

DON’T TRY TO STAY FRIENDS

Staying friends gives the other person hope that a ‘conscious re-coupling’ could be on the cards, stopping them from moving on. You both need a clean break, as hard as it might be. Once wounds have healed, sometimes friendships can develop naturally. Whatever happens, try not to end a relationship with any resentment.

CUT OFF CONTACT

Whatever you do, don’t break up then go home and start sending grovelling text message apologies – it’ll only send mixed messages. The easiest way to avoid this is by deleting their number from your phone, so the temptation isn’t there.

Embrace the distance and give both of you time to move on. That also goes for deleting them off Facebook and unfollowing on Instagram (unless you want to see their new life without you). And definitely don’t bloody booty call them next time you’re six pints deep.