6 Of The Worst Mistakes Men Make In Bed

The phrase ‘idiot’s guide’ is thrown around more than an on-set pornstar when it comes to guides about sex. But unless you need to be told to be clean before getting dirty, most guys aren’t complete morons between the sheets. They do, however, make a few basic errors that – if repeated too often – can leave their sex life shafted. Fortunately, FashionBeans columnist and Great British Sexpert Rebecca Dakin is on hand to break down what’ll keep them coming back for more (and what’ll have them running for the door).

NOT MANSCAPING

There are several advantages to regular manscaping. The first is that trimming the bush around a trunk generally makes the tree look bigger (if you get what we mean). The second is that the other person is far likely to be adventurous with their oral sex if they don’t have to worry about getting a pube stuck in their teeth. You don’t need to shave everything till it looks like a sad turkey (unless you want to), but being neat and tidy is always appreciated.

OVERZEALOUS KISSES

Movies have done for kissing what porn has done for sex (we’ll come to that in a bit) – in that they show exactly what not to do. Kiss with passion, but don’t cover the other person in saliva. Don’t bite like Hannibal Lecter without a warning nibble first. And don’t rip yours or their clothes off – it’s an expensive and not overly sexy habit.

SKIPPING FOREPLAY

The more time you put into relaxing the other person and getting them in the mood, the more you will reap the rewards. Be patient and take your time: women generally need around 40 minutes to warm up in the bedroom, while guys take a lot less time. A massage is a good starting point when it comes to foreplay because it gives you an opportunity to explore their body and find out where they like to be touched.

PUMPING AWAY LIKE A PNEUMATIC DRILL

It’s only going to make you come quickly, and who’s that going to impress? For everyone’s benefit, swap stabbing it around for the long game with slow rhythmic thrusts. Use your penis to tease erogenous areas and build suspense, or as a break to prolong the action.

COMING FIRST

You know how it’s polite to let someone through a door before you? Well, the same applies in the sheets – front door, back door, whichever you’re dealing with. There is no bigger turnoff than a selfish lover. To keep the other person coming back for more, remember what your mother taught you (actually, don’t think of her): manners count.

PORNSTAR SEX

It’s time we broke something to you. Porn sex, like wrestling and the tooth fairy, isn’t real – and nothing good can come from thinking it is. That means not every person is going to want your, erm, stuff all over their face, or surprise anal sex or BDSM out of nowhere. We’re humans, not actors (or wrestlers, before you try a sexy suplex).